Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Lets face it.. She moved on, i havent..

Maybe that's what holding me back all these while



Tuesday, August 11, 2009

I would really want to dedicate this song to you.. I just know this song this afternoon, and it makes me think, perhaps, if only i know this song 5 months ago, i might want to send it to you, so that you'll know, how i felt towards you..

Here goes the lyrics:
Going back to the corner,
where I first saw you
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag,
I'm not gonna move
Got some words on cardboard
Got your picture in my hand
Saying "if you see this girl can you tell her where I am"
Some try to hand me money
They don't understand,
I'm not broke I'm just a broken hearted man
I know it makes no sense
What else can I do?
How can I move on
when I'm still in love with you?

Cause' if one day you wake up
and find that your missing me
and your heart starts to wonder
where on this earth I could be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here
to the place that we'd meet
Then you'd see me waiting for you
on the corner of the street,
So I'm not moving
I'm not moving

Policeman says "Son you cant stay here"
I say there's someone I'm waiting for if its a day, a month, a year,
Gotta stand my ground,
even if it rains or snows,
If she changes her mind,
this is the first place she will go

Cause' if one day you wake up
and find that your missing me
and your heart starts to wonder
where on this earth I could be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here
to the place that we'd meet
Then you'd see me waiting for you
on the corner of the street,
So I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving

People talk about the guy,
thats waiting in on a girl
Woooaah -oooh
There are no holes in his shoes,
But a big hole in his world
Oooooh
Maybe I'll get famous for the man who can't be moved,
and maybe you wont mean to but you'll see me on the news,
and you'd come running to the corner,
Cause' you'll know its just for you
I'm the man who can't be moved
I'm the man who cant be moved

Cause' if one day you wake up,
and find that your missing me,
and your heart starts to wonder
where on this earth I could be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here
to the place that we'd meet
and you'd see me waiting for you
on the corner of the street
so I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving
I'm not moving
(Cause' if one day you wake up,
and find that your missing me,
and your heart starts to wonder
where on this earth I could be,
Thinking maybe you'd come back here
to the place that we'd meet
and you'd see me waiting for you
on the corner of the street)

Going back to the corner where I first saw you,
Gonna camp in my sleeping bag; I'm not gonna move







Tuesday, June 2, 2009

More often than not, my memory will be dragged back to the night where you called me.. It have almost been 2-3 months alrd, and yet, i still cant explain how shocked and surprised i am that night.. It just really sound unbelieveable..

Not only that, as if to add insult to injury, automatically, the night when i went over to woodlands to talk things to you will be recalled also.. I know it's something you need to do, to act like jerk and show no weakness, but by doing that, you are really killing off all my feeling towards you.. I never wanted to slap any girls before, no, never.. That's coz i really respect them.. But that night, honestly, you made me want to slap you just because of your attitude. It might be just fine for you, and if i dont know you much, i would think that you didnt enjoy it.. Sigh, see, just writing things like this, you can see how much hatred accumulated inside of me..

I always thought, breaking up with Sue is the worst.. For she just leave me alone, just like that.. And i thought, breaking up with Jac means that's that.. I will never talk to her and all anymore.. And last but not least, if we broke up one day, we still can be friend, like normal, and chat happily though we have sweeter past. But guess wad? Every single events proves me wrong.. It have almost been 2 years now, and at times i still misses Sue.. Almost 1 year alrd, and i still do small talk with Jac, asking how is she and all.. It have only been 3 months, and yet, whenever i think about you, and saw you, i cant help but feel disgusted and just cast my sight away from you.. Things are just so.....contradicting, dont u think so?

Whatever it is, i really cant care much about you anymore.. You might think that you are very pro, to find another bf just a few days after we break up, but think about it, arent u just making urself look like a no brainer bitch? Im sorry to say that, but think about, isnt it true?

There is really no way for u to read this, but if you do actually found some way, this is what i want to tell you, and this is wad u need to know.. I.....hate you..



Friday, May 22, 2009

It's such a pain, whenever i rethink about the past again, and im not gonna lie about it here.. In the other blog, i might be pretending to be alright and all, but the fact is, that's not totally true.. I mean, lets face it, it really is not easy to just let go everything at all, that is IF it is possible to forget everything.

At times, i thought of wanting to talk to you.. Just saying hi or something, but something within me decided against it. Everything you used to tell me now seems like it's just a lie..

You told me you're nt gonna be like Sue, disappear without any trace at all, so what are you exactly doing to me now then? Maybe i said this hundreth times alrd, but im still gonna say it, I'm disappointed on myself that I still cant forget you completely and i'm also disappointed at what you do to me.. I thought you're gonna be diff, you certainly proved me wrong..

Do you remember the Indonesian song i sent you? "Permintaan hati" Whenever i heard that song now, it really pain me a lot.. It really draw out our condition perfectly well now.. What seems to be so far back then, feels just so real now that i cant believe it's happening.. Sigh, when will this torment end?



Monday, May 11, 2009

Hmm, this post is just to say that, im moving my blog alrd.. This blog will be a closed blog and only can be visited by those that i invite.. I will close it within 2-3 days. Within this day, if u do visit this blog and wanted to be invited, please do tell me so. Else, there will be no more access to this blog..

~My past will be finally unviolated~



Friday, May 8, 2009

I guess this will be my last post here.. Why u ask? Coz i'll be changing my blog, that's why.. All thanks to missy ong aka shermin.. Well, the idea of changing is we agreed that we are going to leave our past behind and start something afresh together.. No no, not that kind of together.. just plain normal together -.- It's kinda good, coz i get new accompaniance to actually leave the whole thing behind. What to left behind u ask? Those stuffs like about mt? Those are the bad memories.. Or maybe i will dump all my sadness in this blog, whereas, anything good, it will be on my new blog, im nt sure yet, but i'll see how it goes.

Class was fun today. It's sales management, what u expect but fun? :D Not as exciting as last 2 weeks though.. I dont know why.. Maybe its just like what i told zakia, suddenly i just felt like i dont have any motivation to get excited anymore.. Speaking of zakia, she skipped school halfway today! Guess the reason? On 2nd thought, no, u wont be able to guess it. The ever-calmed-no-temper zakia, cant take her group nonsense and finally get pissed off!! Imagined that! I cant even imagine what her team mates do.. =x Tsk tsk, u guys = dead.. U dont know who u just messed with :D

I dont think im going to post any long msg or anything alrd here.. Nth much to talk abt anw.. Oh, and guess wad? This is my last post, cum the 90th post.. Nice eh? :D

I was suppose to start afresh alrd since long time ago, and i kept telling myself that i can make it again and again. But as you might have see, from times to times, i still get to recall stuffs abt us or you. I just really really hope that, by moving blog this time, everything will start really afresh.. I am determined to forget about u alrd this time..

Ps: i was listening to heavenly day by aragaki yui, and it kinda reminded me of us on the theater on the bay. That's like one of our song.. What goes through my mind when we listen to it initially on the past is "such a sad song.. I'm quite sure this kind of things wont happen to us" but apparently, i was wrong.. I would really like to share a line of the song that really touches me..

"..kaisatsuguchi de ienakatta iitakatta
“arigatou”tte kotoba wa tabun
“sayonara” yorimo kanashii kotoba ni omouno"

"I couldn’t say it by the ticket barrier, I wanted to say
That I feel “Thank you” are maybe words
much sadder than “goodbye”"

It indeed pains more for me to say thanks rather than say goodbye now.. But i think this got to end somewhere.. Maybe it's still hard for me, but i really will try my best to say goodbye.... Bye..



Thursday, May 7, 2009

Hmm, been a while since i post. Nothing much happened on Tue and Wed anw.. Except that i experience my 1st time skipping on tue. Well, it was marketing and i was sleepy. And not to mention Tiong tempt me.. Wad could i say? =x Met Shawn, Jon and his wife at the afternoon.. It was......FUN! Haha! they really can talk lots of crap.. Haha!

Wed is quite boring though. Went back to school to meet FYP advisor and do some of the stuffs that need to be done regarding FYP. Went back home after that alrd though. Was listening to radio and 987 FM actually throw this question to win a SE phone: "what is the meanest thing that u ever done to ur ex to get back to them?" And that actually make my mind race back to 1-2 months ago.. Mm, the planning and everything! haha!!

I know i deserve a slap, but recently, my emotion get a bit unstable again. It's like, my resolve starts to crumble bit by bit.. I begin to start to recall about events with her and all.. And everytime that happens, i'll just suddenly get quiet and just look away frm whatever i looking at.
It's quite sad actully....sad? wait, no, it's more like.......disappointment.. And nope, not to her, but rather, to myself. I mean, i told myself, not to recall abt it anymore and stuffs like that. But it's like my inner self will always try to "steal-a-peak" on the past whenever im nt aware. At times, i actuall thought "i wonder...when i was recalling back like this, will she recall back about our times also?" What you guys think? Well, what i think is no, she wont..if she's going to recall, wont it be her memories with her "latest" bf, and that will be ben isnt it? Kinda sad and pathetic, i know. I just really hope by blogging this down, it helps to cure a bit. It's still bugging me now, but i do hope after a good night rest, i can go to school with a skip in my step again.